Avocadoan Exclusive: Rep. Reyes Responds to Tolling the Free Bridge
As anyone who went to the Hillary Clinton rally at the Don Haskins Center a couple of months ago saw, Rep. Silvestre Reyes (D) has an uncanny ability to switch between English & Spanish while speaking and tends to insert unnecessary j’s in front of u’s. This led the editors of this site to believe that when writing correspondence, Rep. Reyes writes a letter himself, and that letter then goes to a specially-trained translator to put the letter into proper English. This belief was confirmed when the following letter, an apparent rough draft by Rep. Reyes, was sent to us. The letter is to Mayor Cook in regards to his idea of tolling the free bridge.
Senor Cook:
Que paso, compa? Estoy bien. I hope that todo esta bien down in El Chuco porque estoy here in Washington, D.C.
Anyways, I heard que jou want to toll the free bridge. No mames, guey! Estas loco? Mucha gente use the free bridge because it is FREE! Piensas que they will keep coming if jou put a toll on el puente? No!
Mira, the peoples love free estuff, and crossing between Mexico and the United Estates is one of those. If you estart tolling that bridge, too, los Mexicanos may stop invading Downtown, and revitalization may happen mas pronto!
Also, Mexico is barely competing con los Chinos, y un toll will give los Chinos the advantage. We need to stay sheaper than them!
Tambien los estudiantes! Jou know how many mojados go to JUTEP and cross the the free bridge? Yo no se, pero pienso que hay muchos.
Mira, su idea es muy pendejo, pero let’s make a deal: if jou stop playing su pinche guitarra, I’ll talk to the paisanos en el otro lado. Si?
Te watcho,
Rep. Silvestre Reyes
P.S.
Vote for Hillary; el negro no.
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