Residents Outraged by Council Dropping Pool Ordinance
As reported, City Council, namely Rep. O’Rourke, realized that a proposed ordinance regulating barriers around swimming pools at homes with children under 6 (or maybe 5 or 4, who gives a shit at this point?) was almost as bad an idea as telling the camera guy at City Council meetings that he can’t put the camera on Rep. Castro. “I’m so glad this whole thing is over. The only cool part was getting to say “erect” all the time,” Rep. Ortega said of Council’s action. “I mean, the reason I don’t have kids is because you have to watch the little fuckers. I get a ton of ass, but I have no plans to have kids.”
“Melina made the motion to repeal it and everyone seemed to agree with her. I guess that means it was such a bad idea that even she realized it. I feel like an ass,” Rep. O’Rourke said after the ordinance was repealed. Mayor Cook was also satisfed with Council’s action: “Finally, we are done with it. Now we can get back to important stuff like getting into lawsuits and outlawing plastic bags and bottled water.”
A few hours later, the City’s 17 PIOs each released a statement saying “April Fools,” referencing the fact that the ordinance was originally passed on April 1.
Some residents, however, did not share the relief. Sharon Williams of West El Paso said, “I can’t believe this. I have enough on my hands with getting rammed by the pool boy and gardener while my husband is at work. Now they want me to watch my damn kid? Ugh.”
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