EPMG Calls Out Anti-Downtown El Pasoans
At what could have been confused for a Paso del Norte Group meeting, El Paso Media Group celebrated the “newly redesigned El Pasoan, “a free, 32-page glossy magazine that boasts quality content about Downtown El Paso and has been branded ‘The Voice of Downtown.’” “As far as we know, nobody had claimed that title yet, ‘the voice of Downtown,’ so we said, ‘Fuck it. It’s ours,’” said one EPMG employee. The magazine also boasts its monthly columns by “pro-Downtown EL Pasoans.” When asked about this feature, EPMG said, “Yeah, the magazine will never feature material from anti-Downtown El Pasoans. You know, all those Koreans and Mexicans. Downtown may be their bread and butter, but they secretly hate Downtown. They want to kill it. That’s why we’re pro-Downtown, and that makes them anti-Downtown, even though they are there all the time.”
Editor’s Note: Since the magazine is “the voice of Downtown,” albeit self-proclaimed, we decided not to talk to all the Mexicans and Koreans that buy & sell cheap shit there during the day since we assume, from what EPMG says, that they are all mutes.
-Jack Hammer
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