Yes, Jenni B, your piece gave me some inspiration for this.

While I do not watch “King of the Hill,” I have read a few articles here and there about hipsters. After reading Mrs. Burton’s article, I Googled “hipster” as opposed to clicking on the link to Wikipedia she provided. After my typo of “hipter,” I clicked on Google’s “did you mean ‘hipster?’” link (I always feel like that link should end with the words “pendejo,” “jackass,” or “retard”) and came across The Hipster Handbook. I only read the home page, but that was sufficient. I loved the idea that they typically have less than 2% body fat.

I myself am guilty of labeling people and at times using that of “hipster,” but my favorite is “douchebag,” a category into which hipsters fall. Now, before you “don’t judge a book by its cover” douchebags get all riled up, I admit that I rarely know these people to whom I am assigning labels. Get over it. Note: I consider “The Black Market” a place for hipsters.

I am going to agree with Mrs. Burton’s point that “most hipsters like the atmosphere of places like The Tap, but — and I’m generalizing here — would prefer if their people were there instead of the neighborhood regulars.” Allow me to liken this idea to, not a Frank Zappa song, but the movie “Mean Girls.” I believe that hipsters are the people who despised the “plastics.” The despise came from envy of the plastics’ cool vehicles, sense of style, popularity, and ability to get laid. Now allow me to liken the rise of the hipsters to another movie: “Revenge the Nerds.” Come on, the word has “hip” in it! Hipsters are like the new plastics, especially in a time when shows like “Laguna Beach” & “The Hills” and people like Tara Reid & Pairs Hilton show how bad the plastics can be.
Just like the plastics, hipsters are snobs. They look down on people who aren’t as cool as they are. Also, hipsters may be seen as part of the coveted “creative class,” the prize game of any area seeking economic development. That said, don’t be surprised when you see this city trying to cater them. Fortunately, I think, the older, Hispanic men who vote regularly look at males hipsters and label them “jotos;” so do I. This circumstance will slow the city’s catering to hipsters. Let’s face it: what else can you call a guy who is so thin he wears women’s jeans?

Now allow me to disagree with Mrs. Burton’s article: the line “Pushing out your natives because they’re not cool enough to bring in big time investment is a crappy way to repay them for the hard work of making El Paso what it is.” Are you kidding me? What exactly IS El Paso? The hard work? I would love to know how she defines “El Paso” and said “hard work.” Not going to college is “hard work?” Telling your children they don’t need an education is “hard work?” Attending UTEP, or “JUTEP” to the Reyes crowd, for 10 years and “almost” having earned your bachelor’s degree is hard work?

Anyhow, thank you, Mrs. Burton for the article you wrote. If I ever see you out (I’ve never been to The Tap), I probably will not recognize you, and may mislabel you a hipster. I congratulate you, however, on seeing what douchebags hipsters are, and not being a snob like one of them. Keep it real, girl.

In closing, the sad truth is that hipsters can drive an economy, probably better than the guy who put up my drywall. Hipsters can probably help bring some economic development. Perhaps more hipsters will attract more music acts to the city. Maybe it will be entertaining when the high-end retail & dining arrive and attract a mix of hipsters & upper-class Mexicans. The men, probably wearing a checkered button-down, Wranglers tight enough to make them sterile, boots made of dead reptile, and a cowboy hat big enough to hide a midget will look at the male hipsters and also think, “joto.” And the plastics will descend from the Westside in the cars mommy and daddy bought them. “Mira, la guera.” These three groups will coexist, hopefully along with any other people who venture into the area, possibly myself. I doubt, however, that the guy who did my drywall will be there.

-fourof3